she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I cut my penus on the lid.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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