Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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