I wish they made helmets for livers.
you will always have a special place in my vag
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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