he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
