So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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