You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize