so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
