Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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