What tipped you off? The sombrero?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I could fuck to npr.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
