$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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