Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
