I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
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Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
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my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize