I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
How external is "for external use only"?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
