nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
