Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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