omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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