The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
