wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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