Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize