Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
