This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
