While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
