Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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