the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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