New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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