we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
