Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
