Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
