my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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