Ketchup is God's man juice
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
