Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
please don't ironically join a cult
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