Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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