Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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