'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
