Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining

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  (305): If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining http://tfl.nu/lz11
  Replies (24) Good night (5489) Bad night (742)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s

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  (631): Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s http://tfl.nu/25cx
  Replies (17) Good night (4332) Bad night (643)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...

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  (936): im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses... http://tfl.nu/w5rv
  Replies (6) Good night (3779) Bad night (1027)
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  (619): View more from California

  Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.

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  (619): Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me. http://tfl.nu/28u5
  Replies (23) Good night (940) Bad night (4140)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...

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  (816): As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall... http://tfl.nu/n3n5
  Replies (2) Good night (1374) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?

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  (256): this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo? http://tfl.nu/pp0d
  Replies (3) Good night (2084) Bad night (689)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.

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  (504): seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams. http://tfl.nu/awr2
  Replies (5) Good night (1896) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.

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  (337): IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE. http://tfl.nu/suxx
  Replies (5) Good night (1157) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.

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  (419): I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems. http://tfl.nu/2nf8
  Replies (8) Good night (1142) Bad night (529)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper

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  (440): Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper http://tfl.nu/949l
  Replies (4) Good night (844) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i came so hard i kicked through my windshield

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  (215): i came so hard i kicked through my windshield http://tfl.nu/sfns
  Replies (9) Good night (2437) Bad night (491)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.

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  (713): It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat. http://tfl.nu/xaim
  Replies (2) Good night (539) Bad night (270)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps

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  (605): it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps http://tfl.nu/vib3
  Replies (6) Good night (751) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (289): View more from Ontario

  You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!

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  (289): You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed! http://tfl.nu/yyc5
  Replies (0) Good night (467) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.

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  (269): Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever. http://tfl.nu/iyut
  Replies (2) Good night (415) Bad night (479)

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