okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.