I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
The power of my boobs compel you
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it