Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
