it's too hot outside to masturbate.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue