Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?

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  (816): dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink? http://tfl.nu/aysx
  Replies (2) Good night (693) Bad night (1071)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.

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  (704): So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material. http://tfl.nu/5qwl
  Replies (13) Good night (2332) Bad night (746)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.

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  (931): my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling. http://tfl.nu/ym3n
  Replies (66) Good night (28155) Bad night (1604)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand

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  (781): what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand http://tfl.nu/hzsn
  Replies (8) Good night (4725) Bad night (1098)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.

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  (484): You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you. http://tfl.nu/o9a4
  Replies (3) Good night (1447) Bad night (3145)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.

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  (502): She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused. http://tfl.nu/76xl
  Replies (17) Good night (2148) Bad night (2790)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.

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  (423): I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger. http://tfl.nu/nz2t
  Replies (10) Good night (3108) Bad night (1167)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.

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  (304): his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on. http://tfl.nu/aue5
  Replies (8) Good night (928) Bad night (3862)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".

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  (270): The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard". http://tfl.nu/w1c8
  Replies (19) Good night (7055) Bad night (1246)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians

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  (248): I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians http://tfl.nu/d2hy
  Replies (5) Good night (2106) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.

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  (303): He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night. http://tfl.nu/mkun
  Replies (7) Good night (913) Bad night (1431)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  "Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?

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  (717): "Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right? http://tfl.nu/p6ak
  Replies (1) Good night (638) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  this hospital has no fireball

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  (256): this hospital has no fireball http://tfl.nu/h1f7
  Replies (4) Good night (601) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins

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  (203): this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins http://tfl.nu/v1c9
  Replies (3) Good night (465) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?

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  (734): Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like? http://tfl.nu/hvex
  Replies (3) Good night (356) Bad night (206)

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