Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(334): View more from Alabama

Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day

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(334): Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day http://tfl.nu/yiro

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(480): View more from Arizona

get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch

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(480): get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch http://tfl.nu/ncix

Replies (17) Good night (889) Bad night (2902)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.

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(970): I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach. http://tfl.nu/dziv

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.

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(859): I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum. http://tfl.nu/asaw

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(815): View more from Illinois

Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.

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(815): Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself. http://tfl.nu/xo78

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(201): View more from New Jersey

bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid

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(201): bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid http://tfl.nu/hxiy

Replies (22) Good night (856) Bad night (4413) Order T-Shirt
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(573): View more from Missouri

On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.

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(573): On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower. http://tfl.nu/pdns

Replies (3) Good night (1970) Bad night (696) Order T-Shirt
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(406): View more from Montana

well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded

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(406): well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded http://tfl.nu/5ng8

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'

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(484): during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me' http://tfl.nu/06rz

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(618): View more from Illinois

An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.

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(618): An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name. http://tfl.nu/g5lt

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(650): View more from California

My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.

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(650): My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings. http://tfl.nu/futo

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(615): View more from Tennessee

The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one

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(615): The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one http://tfl.nu/1h27

Replies (3) Good night (1495) Bad night (263)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like

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(609): Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like http://tfl.nu/h698

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out

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(215): i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out http://tfl.nu/4dk0

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(775): View more from Nevada

He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell

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(775): He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell http://tfl.nu/4swv

Replies (11) Good night (1836) Bad night (329)

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