Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
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