Texts From Last Night

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  (424): View more from California

  Do u kno any dealers?

  (1-424): View more from California

  I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.

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  (424): Do u kno any dealers? (1-424): I've officially lost all respect for you, dad. http://tfl.nu/eaqw
  Replies (36) Good night (2849) Bad night (7633)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer

  (214): View more from Texas

  ... I'm KD

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  (903): I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer (214): ... I'm KD http://tfl.nu/mzja
  Replies (38) Good night (671) Bad night (2277)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut

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  (205): Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut http://tfl.nu/pdjw
  Replies (68) Good night (1118) Bad night (5555)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.

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  (864): We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us. http://tfl.nu/xmtc
  Replies (20) Good night (1080) Bad night (6155)
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  (716): View more from New York

  My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics

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  (716): My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics http://tfl.nu/wc24
  Replies (50) Good night (5391) Bad night (1150)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer

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  (210): Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer http://tfl.nu/6bxa
  Replies (16) Good night (5600) Bad night (1036)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning

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  (618): we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning http://tfl.nu/44lc
  Replies (3) Good night (2972) Bad night (1418)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best

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  (847): I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best http://tfl.nu/7i53
  Replies (7) Good night (2131) Bad night (1339)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.

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  (202): he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever. http://tfl.nu/t5e0
  Replies (18) Good night (5517) Bad night (736)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.

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  (701): Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem. http://tfl.nu/jbpn
  Replies (9) Good night (2235) Bad night (830)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position

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  (405): That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position http://tfl.nu/yl9k
  Replies (6) Good night (840) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.

  (1+44): View more from

  They'll never let you practice medicine.

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  (+44): Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it. (1+44): They'll never let you practice medicine. http://tfl.nu/k98f
  Replies (5) Good night (1593) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry

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  (406): Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry http://tfl.nu/gx9l
  Replies (1) Good night (923) Bad night (317)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night

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  (860): I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night http://tfl.nu/320l
  Replies (2) Good night (329) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos

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  (262): I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos http://tfl.nu/7sym
  Replies (0) Good night (413) Bad night (290)

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