I feel like I'm in dance class right now
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.