no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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