he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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