i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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