Apparently you make a good broom.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I see more hoeing in ur future
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