one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize