My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
