we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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