corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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