Define "chronic" masturbator.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
