i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
