Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
