My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
