I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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