Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
