I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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