I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
