Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
