Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
