Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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