But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
